Great Things Happen to Great People

Among the 5 of us we now have 8 children.  All of them miracle babies complete with their very own miraculous story.  All of them special and all of them deeply and completely loved.

In March 2005 I started a peer support group for RESOLVE in my local area.  My husband and I couldn’t believe there was no support for people struggling with infertility and family growing options in our area.  And we were sick of driving.  Oh, so sick of driving to appointments and meetings and clinic visits.  You name it, we had to drive there and it just seemed impossible to fit one more location into our already over scheduled infertile lives.

I choose a location near my home so that if no one showed up for a meeting I could easily return in minutes.  I hung up flyers at doctors offices, yoga studios, beauty salons and therapist offices.

J and J were my first ‘couple’ and in fact they were the only people who attended a meeting for a good 3 months, maybe longer.  It is hard to remember now.  The peer support group does not require any long term committment, but J and J hung on.  We (along with my husband) became fast friends.

At first J and J struggled with male factor infertilty issues.  Then the other shoe dropped.  Everytime Girl J went to to the doctor she received some bad news of her own.  But they hung on.  The stress of work, the insensitive comments from family, the many hours spent in front of the computer searching for THE ANSWER. 

The rest of us – our circle of friends had now grown to 5 (more if you include the husbands) - began to slowly (and I don’t use the term lightly) resolve our family building struggles.  Girl J tried a new diet and Boy J hit the gym.  A vacation was taken.  Time off was considered after the devestating death of twin nephews.  Their path seems built upon loss after loss.

J and J decided to pursue domestic infant adoption and held the yard sale of all yard sales to help fund the cost.  Friends and relatives happily donated trash and treasure for the cause.   After interviewing agencies and setting up meetings things seemed to be progressing.  And yet, after much debate J and J changed course and began a parent training program through DSS.  Maybe it was their bad experience with a particular agency that led to this, maybe it was wrong information along the way or lack of guidance from a knowing adoption professional.  But things happen and they went down this new path toward parenthood.

Their request, an infant 0 -12 months.  J and J knew their chances and decided that the finanancial future of their family couldn’t withstand the cost of a ‘typical’ infant adoption.  Boy J wanted to give up his second job someday…

They waited.

They decorated a coordinated nursery, suitable for a boy or a girl.

They waited.

On April 14 a baby boy was born and 2 days later J and J got a call.  The baby was legally free for adoption.  He was healthy, he was perfect, and he was now their son.  That Saturday, to the joy and happiness of all who have waited with them, J and J brought home Baby J.

Great things do happen to great people.